Lessons for Life

My daughter is 17 years old. Next year she will be a senior in high school and college is knocking on our door. We have started the process of visiting colleges. As she grows and matures into womanhood and her days under our roof are shorter, I wonder have I prepared her for the world. Has she learned all the lessons she needs to know both philosophical and practical to make it in this world?

She can finish my sentences when I give her warnings and advice. But has it really sunk in? What does she need to know?

Before her 17th birthday, I started compiling some life lessons in my prayer journal to pass on to her. Some have been passed down to me from others. Some were learned the hard way through experience. They include core beliefs, common sense or practical tips for everyday living. I started with 20 but the list keeps growing so I think I'll just keep adding to it and sharing it.

What life lessons do you want your children to learn? What lessons has life taught you?

Here's 1-20 on my list:

1 Pray every day. It doesn't have to be a long prayer. Sometimes the most powerful prayers are just a few words. "Lord, help me." "Lord, save me."But take the time consistently to connect and communicate with the Creator for longer than a minute.

2. Read God's Word every day. God's Word is his love letter to us. It corrects, consoles, comforts, instructs, gives us wisdom and guidance. It is the truth. When we read his word, we can pray back his Word and his promises. (See Lesson 1)

3. Hang out with good people. My father said it to me and I say it to you, "If you want to fly with eagles, you can't hang out with turkeys." The company you keep matters because more than likely you will find yourself doing what your friends do. If your friends curse, drink, do drugs and have sex, then the chances that you will do those things greatly increases. The Bible says, "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners or sits in the seat of the scornful." You may not intend to be sitting in the seat of the scornful but before you know it, that's where you are. "Evil communication corrupts good manners." Be with people who are going the same direction you are.

4. People are more important than things.

5. You can't go wrong when you do right, but you might suffer for it.

6. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

7. Money is a tool and resource; learn how to use it.

8. Always have an emergency fund

9. Don't charge up credit cards. Live within your means

10. Your body is precious; Don't just give it away and don't believe "everybody is doing it."

11. Don't believe everything; Don't trust everybody

12. There's a time for everything

13. Nothing is impossible with God

14. Work hard; people will help you

15. Your attitude determines your altitude (another word of wisdom passed down from my father)

16. All you need is one good friend

17. Jesus is your friend; you can call on him anytime

18. You never know who's watching you

19. Don't walk alone at night; never walk away from your drink (wisdom from my husband); don't put yourself in vulnerable situations

20. This too shall pass

What are your life lessons?

Top At the Well Postings for March 2013

Here are the top At the Well postings for March 2013. If this is your first time reading these posts, enjoy. If it's not the first time, enjoy again. And either way, please share.

Peace and Blessings,
Monica



1. Advice for Your 16-Year-Old Self

 

My senior year high school year book photo

2. Top At the Well Postings for December 2011



3. Tending Our Gardens: Got Fruit?

4. Resurrection and The Life

The Resurrection and the Life

Jesus said to her, "I am the one who brings people back to life, and I am life itself. Those who believe in me will live even if they die. John 11:25 (God’s Word Translation, 1995)

I  was dying. Not physically. My dreams were dying. Slipping away. Colleagues and friends had gone on and surpassed me. They were national correspondents and authors. They were on television.  I was raising children—-a stay-at-home mom. My dreams of being a foreign correspondent. Gone. Dreams of publishing a magazine one day. Gone. Writing. Gone. Creativity. Gone. Confidence. Gone.

I laid in the bed one night and deep in my spirit I said, “I’m dying.”  I didn’t say it out loud. It was just a settling in my spirit. A voice inside of me that said, “Give up. Let it go. Your dreams are dead.”

But  then I heard another voice. It wasn’t mine. I don’t know if it was audible or just in my head but I heard it loud and clear.

“I am the resurrection and the life.”

It was a still, small voice but firm and certain. Authoritative and matter of fact.

Do you have some dead situations in your life? Some people, things or dreams that you let go of long ago. They aren’t alive anymore. Has the thing that made you smile, that gave you hope, a sense of purpose, brought you joy and made you feel fulfilled slipped away? God, what happened? Where were you? What were you doing when my marriage fell apart? When my child died? When I lost my job? Why didn’t you stop me before my decisions led to a catastrophe?  Why didn’t I see?  Why didn’t you get here sooner? You restored sight to the blind. Couldn’t you have kept my dream alive?

It’s dead. Lazarus. The one you loved. He’s dead. It’s been dead so long that it stinks.

Well, I’ve got some good news.

Jesus brings dead things back to life. He has that power because He is life. And if you believe in him, one day, even when your body dies, you will live again. God resurrected Jesus from the dead. And He is the resurrection because he revives, restores and redeems. He’ll resurrect your old dream or give you a new and better one. He can do it in unexpected ways or in the fullness of time. In his perfect time. At the right time that we can’t see.

Maybe he’s waiting so that He gets the glory and there’s no doubt that it is only by his power that you are alive. Maybe you’re in the wilderness so that He can purge some things, perfect you and let you see Him and depend on Him instead of yourself.

I’m alive. My dream is alive. You’re reading it right now with more to come. I said goodbye to fear and others expectations. I said goodbye to how I thought it was going to be and started embracing what was and what could be. I stopped caring so much about what others thought of me. I redefined success according to God’s Word and realized that a life of significance in Christ is so much better. And true success is not determined by my bank account, fame, notoriety or society’s standards, but by following God’s Word.

My confidence is in Christ. And I boldly declare in Jesus name that I  am determined to be a woman of the Word of God, a helper to my husband and a world changer, starting with raising up the children that God gave me because raising them to be men and women of God is my first ministry and most important mission. Because I am not just raising them, I’m influencing their children’s children.

I’m determined to leave whatever place God has placed me in a little better for me having been there and I am determined to minister God’s love and grace to every man, woman or child that God allows to cross my path.

I’m alive.

Jesus brings people back to life. He just asks, “Do you believe?”

 

This also appears in the Winter 2012 issue of The Well Magazine. To read the magazine, click on the cover below.

 

The Well Magazine Winter 2012

Dream Resurrection

What happened to your dream?

To borrow the words of the poet Langston Hughes, has it dried up like a raisin in the sun? Or is it festering like a sore?

Have you given up on that idea that used to make you smile when you thought about it? Does it seem like your time has passed?

Life happened while you were making other plans and now it seems like that dress size, college degree, career, business, book or family is the impossible dream. Perhaps you feel like your dream is dead.

Don’t give up. Dreams can be brought back to life and realized. It’s not too late to live your dream. But maybe it won’t look exactly how you envisioned it. It might be even better. Here’s some steps to take in the New Year to resurrect your dream.

Pray and Plan

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Start praying to God about your purpose and His plan for your life and ask Him to show you how He wants you to fulfill it. Ask Him to revive your dream and give you a vision for your life. The Bible says if anyone needs wisdom from God, all he has to do is ask and God will give it to him (James 1:5). His thoughts toward you are good ones. He plans to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

While you’re praying and seeking God’s wisdom, start planning. Write the vision (Habakkuk 2:2). Write what it takes to get where you want to go. Start journaling. Make a vision board, a collage of pictures of who you want to be and where you want to go and put it where you can see it. Read and research. Seek advice. Seek a mentor who is doing or has done what you want to do. Surround yourself with positive people who speak life to your dreams instead of death.

 

To read the entire story, click on the photo and read the Winter 2012 issue of The Well Magazine

 

 

 

 

 

From the Editor--Winter 2012

Life after death.

Resurrection. Revival. The prefix “re” means again. The root of the word revive comes from the Latin word “vivere” which means to live. Live again.

In the winter things appear to be dead. During the cold and bleakness of the winter, we see little life. The flowers have faded. The green grass has been covered by snow. The green leaves have changed colors and fallen from the trees. The trees’ naked branches point to the sky and white snow covers the ground.

But there is beauty and purpose even in the coldness and apparent death of the winter. There is life below the surface, just waiting to come forth in the spring.

There are seasons in our lives as well. Sometimes we are in the winter season when things seem cold, dead and unproductive. Our dreams seem to have died. Our relationships appear to be dead. The love that used to fill our lives has grown cold. The career or ministry that we have dreamed of appears to be an impossible dream. A dream has been shattered or dried up like a raisin in the sun.

But even in the winter, there is life and there is hope for revival. To live again. That hope is in Jesus Christ, the Resurrection and the Life.

Jesus is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. He is the Son of the Living God. He was the first Christmas gift from our Heavenly Father to us. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” Jesus came to give us life eternally and abundantly. When he walked this earth, he brought the dead back to life. And today he still brings hopeless and dead situations to life. Jesus resurrects dreams.

In this issue of The Well Magazine, those who have experienced death testify of how they have learned to live again. Men and women who have experienced the death of a marriage, a child and a parent write about the painful reality of living with the devastation of death but also of the comfort, healing and power found in their faith. A couple share how they experienced adultery and divorce, but were able to do the difficult work to reconcile and remarry.

You will find practical advice on putting your faith into action, resurrecting your dreams, reviving your marriage and fulfilling your purpose.

We also look at revival in the Church—the body of Christ. What does a true revival look like? Perhaps a revival is already underway spurred by people award-winning journalist John W. Fountain calls Transformers, men and women who are working outside of the institutional church to show the love of Christ and are determined to be the Church instead of just “going to church.”

Life will happen. Death, disease, divorce, disappointment, delay and denial. But whatever you are going through, no matter how great the pain, whatever the struggle, don’t give up on life. There is life in Christ.

Read the Winter Issue of The Well Magazine. Click on the photo

Wisconsin's 33rd Annual Tribute to Martin Luther King

The Well Magazine Winter 2012

The Greatest Gifts

The greatest gifts don’t have a price tag. But they are extremely valuable.

In the past, I would rush around at Christmas and buy gifts for everyone. Who knows what happened to most of them. A toy that may have been played with for a season or a sweater worn a few times. This year I don’t feel that pressure. I will buy some presents for family members, children who I know need clothes and toys, a token of appreciation for my children’s teachers.

The real value of a gift is the love that it symbolizes and the thought behind it. I love giving people in my life things that I know they will enjoy, that they desire or that will make them feel better. But the most valuable gifts I can give do not cost money. They cost my time, effort and my heart.

This Christmas and for the rest of my life I am determined to give those most valuable gifts. Those gifts that don’t fade or tarnish but live forever in the memory and the heart. They are priceless.

My top gift list:

Unconditional Love: The Agape love of God is the greatest love of all. It is not deserved. It is given freely just because. It is unconditional and sacrificial. Everyone wants to be loved. That is one of our greatest desires. It is God’s greatest gift (For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son). And it is the greatest gift we can give each other.

Forgiveness: Who hasn’t messed up or hurt someone? We all have. And we all want forgiveness. Again, like Agape love, we don’t deserve it. It is truly a gift. But what I have found is that when someone has wronged you, forgiveness is the gift you give that is really a blessing to you. Un-forgiveness can turn to bitterness and as the saying goes it’s like you drinking poison and expecting the person who has trespassed against you to die. The gift of forgiveness not only sets someone else free, it sets you free.

Prayer: Praying for others is a great gift. Whether they know it or not, petitioning the all powerful God on behalf of another is the best thing you can do for them because God loves them, knows what they need, wants the best for them and has the ability to work in their lives and do all things.  

Respect: We all want to be seen, heard and valued. Showing respect shows that you value.

Time: That goes with being seen, heard and valued. When you spend your time with someone, you show that you care.

A Listening Ear: Related to respect and time. Sometimes people don’t want an answer, they just want you to listen to how they feel, what’s in their heart, their dreams, disappointments and ideas. When you listen, really listen, you’re saying you are valuable.

Boundaries and Expectations: May seem counterintuitive, but I believe one of the greatest gifts that we can give our children are boundaries and expectations. Boundaries keep them safe and teach them discipline. Expectations help them soar. With adults the same can apply. An adult with no boundaries or discipline is out of control and probably not fulfilling their potential. In a relationship when we allow people to do whatever they feel with no consequences, it’s not good for them or us. Expect the best of people and expect great things of them.

Encouragement: Who doesn’t need it? We all do. A kind word. A compliment.  “I believe in you.” It can do wonders and lift spirits and give people fuel and fire. It can be a lifesaver and a lifechanger.

What’s on your list of priceless gifts?

Me Too

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15

Have you ever said to God, “I’m only human?”

Have you ever said, I know you told me to do this or that. But that’s just too much to ask. I’m only human.

I’m in pain. That’s unreasonable and impossible. You can’t expect me to respond in this way or that. I look like a fool. People will think I’m stupid. They don’t deserve it. I’m hurt. I’m in pain.

And then has God ever spoke back to you and said, “Me too.”

Have you ever felt alone?

Jesus says, “Me too.”

Lied on? Called names?

Misunderstood?

Embarrassed?

Humiliated?

Betrayed?

Jesus says, “Me too.”

Rejected?

Jesus says, “Me too.”

Betrayed and rejected by those closest to you--family and your inner circle of friends? Left to stand alone?

“Me too.”

But Jesus, I’m only human.

Jesus says, “Me too. But I’m also God. I know you’re human. That’s why I died for you. But not only did I die. But I rose again. And right now, I’m with the Father, making intercession for you. I see you. I am with you. I love you. I will never leave you or forsake you.

“I know about pain. I went through the cross. I did it because I loved you, even when you weren’t loving me. While you were yet in sin, I died for you so that you could know me and be with me eternally.  The cross wasn’t fun. It was excruciatingly painful. But I went through it. The pain has a purpose and on the other side of the pain is resurrection power and transformation.”

Then Jesus whispers to you, “You’ll get through this. I was human.”  He stretches out his nail scarred hands and shows you his wounds. “I know how you feel. Really. “

Power scriptures:

“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.”  Isaiah 53:5

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. “ Galatians 6:9